Difficult Invitation Wording Situations Part 1

Difficult Wording Situations Part 1 -The correct way to address sticky wording situations

When we use the word “traditional,” it refers to a general term of what etiquette rules apply to any given situation. In modern society, the term “traditional” is not as straightforward as it used to be, especially when you look at family situations. The traditional rules of etiquette usually do not cover difficult situations, so when it is time to word your wedding invitation, you may encounter situations that may be difficult to say on your invitation. There are ways to word these situations so that no one feels uncomfortable, but the most important thing to remember is to use wording that you feel comfortable with.

One of the most commonly asked questions is regarding how to word wedding invitations when the bride or groom’s parents are divorced. Here are some examples of divorced parents as the hosts of the wedding:

Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Andrews
And
Mr. James Bryan
Request the honor of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter

Here is another example if the parents are divorced but have not remarried:

Mr. Allan Cummings
And
Ms. Olivia Abbott
Request the honor of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter

The same principal applies if the groom’s parents are divorced. See the below wording for an example:

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Abrams
Request the honor of your presence
At the marriage of their daughter
Jessica Ann Abrams
To
Brian Matthew Cuthbert
Son of Mr. Adam Lyons
And Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Geller

Another difficult wording situation that you may encounter is if one of the bride or groom’s parents is deceased. In many cases, it is appropriate for the living parent to host the wedding, please see below for an example.

Mrs. Robert Barber
Requests the honor of your presence
At the marriage of her daughter

In certain instances, the bride or groom wishes to mention the deceased parent on the wedding invitation. It is perfectly acceptable to do this by stating “the late” before the deceased’s name. The only thing to avoid is to make is sound as though the deceased parent is doing the inviting. Here an acceptable example.

Sarah Alice Thelen
Daughter of Mr. Oliver Thelen and the late Mrs. Thelen
And
Bradley John Johnson
Son of Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Johnson
Request the honor of your presence

Because every family situation is different, feel free to customize these wordings as you see appropriate. The most important thing is for you to feel comfortable with the wording, as well as be appropriate.

Should I let a friend videotape my wedding?

I was recently at a wedding where, during the ceremony, there were probably 7-8 people crowding around the bride and groom. Each person was armed with a palmcorder or handycam, jocking for a good spot and nearly pushing the photographer, a paid professional, and myself out of the way. She, the photographer, had to kindly inform someone that she was getting paid and had to ask them to move. I noticed that over half of the seated guests were pointing either digital cameras or cell phones at the bride and groom and, even though the ceremony was outside, on a sunny day, the repeated auto-flashes, strobing and beeping was enough to cause a headache.

With that many people holding a camera of some sort, it made me wonder why anyone would hire a professional videographer. With digital technology becoming less expensive and more accessible, and with it getting easier to share pics and video clips with anyone in the world that has internet access, it seems that just about anybody could, possibly, shoot a decent and watchable wedding video.

So, should you let a friend or family member shoot yours? Chances are, you probably know a few people that own a camera and probably own one yourself. Why not let someone you know do it for you? They'll enjoy having a chance to be creative and you'll save some money.

The benefit of having a friend shoot your wedding video is that while you might have to give them a few bucks for tapes, you won't have to spend anywhere from $600 to $3000, or more, to hire a professional. With a professional, though, they know what they're doing. That's not to say that your friend isn't capable of producing a quality video that you'll enjoy watching, but more than likely, a professional has gone to school and received training, or both, for specifically this kind of work, has shot numerous wedding videos, has years of experience, and has spent literally thousands of dollars on pro-grade equipment.

Some real-life examples:

My partner took a job where the groom used his own camera to shoot he and his bride's wedding video. During the ceremony, the camera was mounted on a tripod and positioned at the back end of the room. You could see everything in the frame, albeit, not clearly. The bride and groom looked like a couple of blurry dots in the background, which was probably due to the camera being set on auto mode. And, since the built-in, on-camera microphone was used, the sound was almost unbearable to listen to. There was a continuous noise that sounded like tape hiss throughout and the guests seated on the back rows, talking and sniffling, were about the only thing that could be heard. The exchange of vows was missed entirely. Those important words, "I do" and "I now pronounce you husband and wife," were completely inaudible.

Another couple wanted their wedding video put on DVD. They had also asked someone they knew to shoot it for them. It seemed that there was an almost endless amount of footage that was mostly boring to watch. Aside from having some bad footage and bad audio (again, the built-in mic was used), the couple didn't have the proper tools and skills to take the footage from their tapes and transfer it to DVD. They also didn't have the right tools or know-how to edit the video in order to make it more interesting and enjoyable to watch. A professional videographer is, in many cases, an editor as well, and would normally allot 20-30 hours just for editing a wedding video.

These are just 2 examples, and quality isn't necessarily everything. You could purchase a digital videocamera for $200 or $300 and spend $40 or $50 on a simple editing program, and either do it yourself, or have a friend or family member do it for you. But, hiring a professional videographer, one who is equipped with the right gear, may be a better choice than handing a camera to someone you know and trusting that they'll produce a video that you'll actually want to watch. Professional camera, sound and editing equipment can cost more than a new car and it takes a considerable amount of time, training and talent to learn how to use it effectively and proficiently.

A consumer-end camera manned by a friend would get the job done. You would definitely have a document of your wedding day, but here are some questions you might ask:

If the picture and sound quality were poor, would you watch the video once and store it on a shelf or in a box somewhere?
Would you be able to even watch it once without fast-forwarding to the good spots?
Would your friend be able to hold the camera steady and keep the subjects, you and your soon-to-be husband, in focus?
Would your friend simply put the camera on a tripod and hit record, hoping that the camera's automatic functions do the job and that the picture and sound are clear?
Would you end up with an artistic, cinematic video that runs between 45 minutes and an hour long, which tells only your story and shows exactly what you would want to see, or would you end up with 3 to 4 hours of raw footage, where only a small portion is interesting to watch?

There are many other factors to consider when trying to decide if you want to hire a professional videographer or go with a friend, but the key thing is whether you would want to basically be the star of your own movie, or if you would rather have a home video.

Written by Matthew Mercier
©2007 Magic Productions

A Photographer’s Wish List: How You Can Help Your Photographer Capture The Photographs You Desire

Finding and hiring a professional photographer to document your wedding day is a sizable investment, in not only money, but time as well. By doing your research and hiring a professional that suits your style, you can rest assured that he or she is going to capture your day exactly how you want. But achieving the best possible results doesn’t end with the signing of the contract. Below are a few simple things you can do as a client before and on your wedding day to help you and your photographer capture the photographs of your dreams.

Develop a personal relationship with your photographer. Hopefully you have selected a photographer whose personality meshes well with yours, besides your fiancee, they are the person you will be spending the most amount of time with on your wedding day. By the time your wedding day arrives, you should consider your photographer a friend, not just another vendor. This can seem like a difficult task to accomplish, considering how busy and hectic the months leading up to the big day can be, but it can be done. Most photographers understand the importance of this dynamic and will take the initiative, but it does take a little bit of effort from you as well. You must make yourself available. Though most beneficial, it doesn’t necessarily have to take place in person. Phone calls, emails, any form of conversation will work. And it most certainly doesn’t need to pertain to the business of your wedding. The stronger this sense of friendship is between you and the photographer, not only will you feel more comfortable and relaxed around him or her, the rest of the wedding party will as well. As soon as the guard comes down, the photographic magic happens.

Be yourself. This may seem like common sense, but it can be more difficult than you might think. Most people aren’t used to having a photographer document their every move, especially with intimidating looking professional equipment. Though they may not realize it, people tend to carry themselves and act differently as soon as a camera is pointed at them, which looks stiff and unnatural in photographs. Others just freeze up altogether. Unless your photographer is giving you specific direction, the best thing you can do is relax, be yourself, and act as if the photographer wasn’t even there. Pay special attention to your hands, they are a good indication of how tense you really are. Relax your hands and the rest of you will follow. No need to put on an act, simply be yourself.

Don’t rush your wedding day. When planning the schedule of the day, allot a realistic amount of time for each separate event. Planning a shorter, more casual wedding is one thing, but attempting to pack an eight-hour event into four makes everything feel rushed, like you’re trying to run a race. Not only does it make it difficult for everyone involved to enjoy the day, it makes it more difficult to capture natural looking photographs when you’re sprinting from one thing to the next. Pace your day and cherish every moment, it is, after all, a once in a lifetime experience (hopefully).

Look through magazines, on-line, and, of course, through your photographer’s portfolio for specific examples of images, scenes, and body positions that appeal to you and share these ideas with your photographer before hand. It will give both you and the photographer a better sense of direction when working together. Also, if you internalize these ideas and are able to carry and position yourself in a similar way without having to be completely directed by the photographer, the photographs will look much more natural. The more the photographer must direct, the more awkward you will feel and it will show in the images.

Communicate with your fiancee about the photography. Often photography is of much greater importance to one half of the couple, typically the bride, but occasionally the groom. Sometimes the photographer wont even meet the groom until the day of the wedding, as everything related to photography was arranged and booked by the bride. This usually translates to the groom and groomsmen standing around in complete disinterest, with a ‘this is her deal’ attitude. If you communicate openly with your fiancee, and, even better, the core wedding party, beforehand about the photography, it will make it much easier and enjoyable to achieve your desired results.

Enjoy your wedding day. Again, this may seem like common sense, but with the anticipation and stress involved in planning the perfect day, it can be difficult to actually enjoy it. While there is certainly no way to eliminate the stress and worry completely, you can minimize it. If you don’t have a professional day-of coordinator, appoint someone you trust to handle the logistics of the day and let them worry about the details. You have been planning this day for months, even years, once it finally arrives, relax and enjoy it. You certainly deserve to and doing so will translate to more natural looking, joyous images.

Provided by Joshua Walker. Joshua Walker is an award-winning wedding photojournalist based in San Diego, CA.
www.joshuawalkerphotography.com

Personalized Wedding Favors - 3 Popular Choices

There are many options (sometimes too many) when trying to choose a favor for your wedding guests. From votive candles to candy wrapped in tulle, the amount of wedding favor choices can be overwhelming.

Personalized wedding favors allow you to add your personal touch to the favors that you choose. They also allow you to display your creativity and enable you to stand out from the typical wedding.

Listed below are three popular choices for personalized wedding favors.


CD Wedding Favors

Creating a CD with all of your favorite songs is a great idea for a personalized wedding favor. Make a list of all of your favorite songs, and you can even include songs from your wedding like your first dance, father-daughter and mother-son songs.

Design a personalized CD cover to include with each favor. There are many software programs that can help with the design and printing of the covers.

Candy Wedding Favors

Candy is a long time favorite as a wedding favor. It is easy, and you can rest assured that a candy wedding favor won't be left on the table or thrown out.

To add a personalized twist, create custom candy bar wrappers. There are several companies online that enable you add personal messages and information about your wedding to the wrappers.

Another candy option are personalized M&Ms. Have a special message printed on them and put them in decorative bags tied with ribbon.


Personalized Golf Ball Wedding Favors

If you are into playing golf, consider personalized golf balls as wedding favors. Have your personal message printed on the golf balls, and you can even package them with candy or other items.

This idea works really well if you are getting married at a country club or if you know a lot of your guests are avid golfers.

In the wide world of wedding favors there are many ideas to choose from. Choosing a personalized wedding favor allows you to be a little different and stand out from the crowd.

This article was provided by Stephen Badiali
Wedding Ideas Guide