Tips for a best man's speech

A best man's speech can make or break a wedding but by using common sense you can make sure your toast is remembered for all the right reasons

A wedding is certainly a nerve racking day for the couple of the day, but the nerves also extend to the best man who has the difficult job of coming up with a memorable speech at the reception.

The main problem people have with their speech is that they overcomplicate things and make things harder for themselves. A good best man's speech should be short and snappy - more than five minutes and people's thought start to wander, longer than seven and people start to get bored. While brevity is important, it's good to use two minutes as your minimum marker.

Confidence is key to delivering a good speech so try to get it written and ready a good while before the day and practise as much as you can. The better you know the key points of your speech, the more relaxed you will be and, remember, the groom chose you to be best man so be yourself.

A good best man's speech includes jokes (good jokes, not dirty ones), a story or two about the couple (how they met, how happy they are together - stories that are appropriate for all ages), a thank you to all who made the wedding possible (such as whoever paid for the event) and, finally, a toast to a successful future.

You should try to make your stories balanced between the bride and the groom, but as you are the groom's best man you may not know the bride as well. In this case, it's always good to talk about the groom's feeling for the bride. This is generally the time to act as a salesman, talking up your friend to the bride's family who may not know the groom - what you tell them may help to form their first impression.

It is always best to err on the side of caution with your speech - being boring or soppy is a lot better than being offensive. Telling dirty jokes or speaking about the groom's ex-girlfriend may get a few laughs from your mates, but the bride's parents and elderly relatives may not be amused, and if it's you that's blamed for ruining the wedding with your inappropriate speech it's more likely to be you than the wedding insurance providers who ends up shelling out compensation.

So follow these tips and help make the wedding a memorable celebration for your best friend.

By
Reagan Blackpool

RESPONSIBILITIES OF BRIDAL ATTENDANTS

Bridal attendants have an important responsibility in assisting the bride in her wedding preparations and on the day of the event. Since bridal attendants are typically sisters or close friends of the bride; it is quite an honor to be chosen for this role. A clear understanding of the expectations and expenses will enable one to determine whether she can fulfill this important position.

The bride may choose one or more attendants depending upon the size of the wedding and the ceremony venue. Keep in mind that the groom will need to select an equal number of attendants as well. While a bride and groom may have a large number of friends and relatives that they wish to include in the ceremony, placing too many people on the altar area can detract from the ceremony itself. Consider assigning some individuals to other aspects of the ceremony or reception if this is the case. The focus of the guests should remain clearly on the bride and groom and the commitment they are making to one another. They will appreciate not peering through a crowded platform to do so.

The Maid or Matron of Honor is the “leader” of the bridal attendants and stand closest to the bride during the ceremony. Sometimes a Matron of Honor is a bit uncomfortable with the term “Matron”. Remind her that the designation is based on marital status rather than age! The main duties of the Maid of Honor are to help the bride in the planning process of the wedding. She may assist the bride in choosing her wedding gown and selecting the dresses for the bridal attendants. The Maid of Honor helps the bride to order the dresses and ensure they arrive in time for alternations to be made. The Maid of Honor and other attendants often host a bridal shower for the bridal. Since multiple showers may be held in the bride’s honor, the Maid of Honor is a wonderful resource in setting the invitees at these events to determine that no one is overlooked or left off the guest lists. She is also responsible for arranging a bachelorette party to be held a few weeks before the wedding. The Maid of Honor and other attendants may also assist the bride in selecting and writing out the invitations, selecting decorations and favors and may help with catering and cake selections.

Traditionally, the bridal attendants are responsible for all costs associated with their attire, the bridal shower and the bachelorette party, as well as gifts for each of these events. In addition, if the attendants are from out of town, they are responsible for their travel expenses to and from the wedding. Many times a bride will offer to assist in these costs. It is best for attendants to be clear about what expenses they will be expected to bear. If they are unable to take on the costs, it is much better to decline the honor at the onset rather than drop out of the wedding at a later date.

On the day of the ceremony, the Maid of Honor makes sure the bride gets to the ceremony location and assists the bride with her dress, makeup and hair. Since the bride traditionally is not seen prior to the wedding ceremony, the Maid of Honor communicates the bride’s wishes to other attendants and family members. The Maid of Honor signs the marriage license as a witness, holds the groom’s ring until the officiate requests it during the ceremony, and holds the bride’s bouquet while the bride is participating in the exchange of rings or lighting of the unity candle. The Maid of Honor also makes sure that the bride’s train and veil are adjusted at all times during the ceremony for display and safety as the bride moves about the altar.

The actual duties of a bridal attendant are varied according to the expectations and needs of the bride. However all bridal attendants offer moral support, understanding and friendship to the bride. They lend a listening ear during a hectic time and troubleshoot the inevitable problems that arise during the entire process. The main reason a bride chooses her attendants is the trust she has in their ability to assist her in one of the most important days of her life.

Lisa Frogge
Weddings Are Fun

Planning a “Man Shower” for the Groom-To-Be

Karen Sullen of MyWeddingFavors.com asks: Why should the bride have all the fun?

She proposes an alternative to the bachelor party, the “Man Shower” as a fun way for the groom to be showered with gifts and well wishes.

Planning a “Man Shower” for the Groom-To-Be
By: Karen Sullen

Bridal showers have come a long way, indeed. First there was the traditional shower for women only, then the couple’s shower with a co-ed guest list, and now we welcome the “Man Shower!” It’s the same idea as a bridal shower, but with a manly twist. A great alternative to a bachelor party, groomsmen, family and friends gather to wish the groom well. Rather than a night of partying with scantily-clad women, this men-only event features plenty of manly foods, gifts and games. And why shouldn’t they have their own? Ladies have enjoyed their private showers for years. So if your future husband decides he wants to get in on some shower action, try these themes.

King Of The Grill: A sizzlin’ summer cookout makes a great setting for a “Man Shower.” Hubby-to-be will be king of the grill, and guests can bring everything to outfit a barbeque, including the grill, utensils and more! Giving each guest a personalized bottle of hot sauce is a great way to end the day.

Beach Bum: Plan a day at the beach or a sailing excursion for the groom and his crew. Take in the sights of dolphins just off the shore or go deep-sea fishing. It’s the perfect way for the groom to celebrate sailing into his new life. Guests can fill his “boat” with nautical or beach wedding favors and gifts.

Fore Him: A golf-themed shower is perfect for the golf-enthusiast. If you hold it at the clubhouse of a great golf course, guests can play a “round” after he opens a round of golf-themed gifts, like golf towels, balls and golf ball bottle openers.

Stock The Bar: The bar is open and ready for guests to bring the groom’s favorite wine. Enjoy a private wine-tasting with sumptuous foods for an upscale gathering. From bottle stoppers and glasses to a personalized “old world” bar sign to accent the home, this is a definite twist on giving home furnishings!

No matter which theme you choose, the “Man Shower” is a great way for the groom to celebrate and bond with close family and friends. Beyond the gifts, the memories will last a lifetime!

WedAlert thanks Karen for the great ideas. You can also read more about unique ideas for the grooms by checking out Weekend Adventures-A New Trend in Bachelor Parties

How to Pick Your Best Man for Your Wedding

Congratulations. You asked her to marry you and she said "yes" without hesitation. You know which girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. But first, there is boot camp to get through – it's called planning the wedding.

A vital step after popping the question is to pick your best man. This guy will be most involved in your wedding and carry the brunt of the responsibility of your groomsmen. Your best man will most likely throw your bachelor party, he'll hold your wedding rings on the big day, he'll convey your wishes to the other groomsmen, he gives a toast and short speech at the wedding reception, and pretty much stands by your side and keeps you from going nuts throughout the whole planning process and on the wedding day.

That being said, your best man should be someone responsible and reliable. Don't pick one of your underachiever buds for this job. You want someone that won't let you down.

A high school or college friend or roommate that has been part of your life on an almost daily level is a good choice. If you are fortunate enough to have a long-term friend, then your choice is a no-brainer. Your best friend is the obvious choice.

If you have one brother, he is also a good candidate for the best man. Your best friend could drift away after college as the years go on, but your brother will always be your brother.

If you have more than one brother, I would hope that you have a long-term friend you can pick as the best man. And then let your brothers all be groomsmen. This way you are not singling out a favorite brother and causing strife amongst the other brothers. But if one brother was the closest in age to you, got along with you the best, and spent the most time with you of all your brothers, then there is nothing wrong with picking him as a best man.

Sometimes a guy will pick his father to be his best man. This is very touching and tells the world that you and your dad are really best friends and understand each other. It's an unexpected twist and will mean a lot to your old man. Don't feel pressure to do this just because it would be you being nice to your dad. He'll be in the wedding in a tux anyway, just like the bride's dad.

You could break tradition and have a woman as "the best man". Although, a title such as "groom's honor attendant" is a better choice. This is a controversial move and may spark some gossip on the wedding day. Your bride is supposed to be your best woman friend. Several eyebrows could be raised amongst the older guests, but the younger guests may not think anything of it. If you are considering this, please be sure to discuss it with your bride-to-be. You want to make sure that all guests are focusing on you and your bride and not one of your attendants.

Whatever you do, go with your gut feelings. It's your choice and anything goes these days. You pick your best man based on who you want to be by your side as you embark on married life.

This article was provided by Lisa Gunther. Lisa is a freelance writer and product reviewer for Gunther Gifts which provides for groomsmen and engraved gift needs.

Related articles:

Choosing Your Groomsmen
How To Give The Perfect Best Man Speech
Best Man - The requirements and duties of the Best Man