Bouquet and Garter Toss: Should We or Shouldn’t We?

Like many traditions, the bouquet and garter toss, are slowly being replaced by more all-inclusive wedding reception activities. In the last five years, wedding professionals have noted a decline in these long-standing traditions and estimate the frequency of bouquet and garter tosses during wedding receptions today to be approximately 50 percent.

Whether you choose to include these traditions or “toss” them is completely up to you. Singling out the singles with bouquet and garter rituals isn’t as relevant today, when many wait longer to marry and some choose to remain single. A Bride and Groom may prefer to spend their party moments visiting with beloved guests and dancing to the music, instead.

Whatever you decide, the a professional DJ can share their experiences and help you plan your party time activities. If you’re still undecided after reading these lists of Pros and Cons, your DJ can suggest updated versions of bouquet and garter toss traditions that will satisfy guests of all generations.

Where did the bouquet and garter toss originate?

In the 14th century, it was customary for the Groom to remove the Bride’s garter and throw it toward the single men in attendance. Legend said that whoever caught the garter would be the next to marry. At the often-rowdy party following the wedding, a few drunk and impatient men would occasionally try to remove the Bride’s garter before the Groom had his opportunity. At those times, we can only hope the Groom intervened and rescued his Bride from the boisterous crowd. In light of this, perhaps seeing who would marry next by having the Bride toss her bridal bouquet toward the single women was less troublesome!

Pros of hosting a bouquet and garter toss

1) It’s Tradition. Some in attendance are waiting for this moment during your reception. The bouquet toss and, to a lesser extent, the garter toss are benchmarks for the older generations. When a tradition is observed, their expectation is fulfilled and a certain comfort level borne of familiarity is reached.

2) Guests get involved. If plenty of singles are at your party, the event generates suspense for your wedding guests. If some of the singles are well-mannered but rowdy friends, you can expect great enjoyment and fun. Hosting the toss in the midst of your dance party is a great way to get singles to meet on the dance floor. All guests want to feel the thrill of the moment, and a great Master of Ceremonies will include married couples in the event, too. Professional DJs draw on their experience and follow simple techniques that engage your guests and elevate the excitement of your reception’s most memorable moments.

3) Great photo and video opportunities are made. You can expect great shots of your friends wearing spontaneous smiles and their Sunday best. The camera will capture their laughter and looks of surprise, embarrassment and goofiness, as they carry out the traditions of the bouquet and garter toss.

4) Bouquet and garter tosses can be fun. If the singles at your reception are in the spirit of the moment, then these rituals that bring people together will be fun and exciting for you and your guests.

Cons of hosting a bouquet and garter toss

1) Many guests may not want to participate. It’s customary for the Bride to help gather the singles in attendance and invite them to get involved in the bouquet and garter toss. If singles are reluctant to participate, but go along to be polite to the Bride, the events won’t be fun for them and may make them uncomfortable, a feeling which is sure to spread among the guests watching them.

2) There’s less party time. If your dance floor is rockin’, why screech the party to a halt? Even small traditions, like the garter and bouquet toss, take a little time to organize. You can expect to spend 10 to 12 minutes gathering the participants, and watching rowdier singles prolong their moments in the spotlight. While others are distracted, guests who aren’t caught up in the moment may take this opportunity to leave.

3) Do you really want a picture of this, anyway? Since the bouquet and garter toss are mostly staged events, we all know what to expect, with certain variations on the old theme.

4) Some guests may act inappropriately. Why take the chance of subjecting your guests to potentially ill-advised and outlandish actions?

Putting a new spin on the bouquet and garter toss

Enjoy an Anniversary Dance. This fun variation on the usual theme is a suspenseful event that invites married couples of all ages to be part of an “elimination” dance that ends with a nice surprise.

All married couples are invited to the dance floor for the first song. Those married less than 6 months are asked to step down for the next dance. Those married less than a year are asked to bow out, followed by those married 3 years, 5 years, and so on, until the last couple on the dance floor is the one that has been married the longest – which is sometimes 50 or 60 years! The Master of Ceremonies steps onto the floor to congratulate them and to ask for their sage advice on behalf of the new Bride and Groom. In return for their words of wisdom, the Bride and Groom offer the older couple the Bride’s bouquet.

It’s Your Party. Do What You Want.

Depending on your guests, the bouquet and garter toss can be a fun event. However, you will find that hardly anyone will miss it if you choose to skip them. It’s totally up to you, it is YOUR wedding reception!

© Copyright 2007. Mike Staff Productions, Inc. All rights reserved.
About the Author
Mike Staff is the owner of Mike Staff Productions (www.mikestaff.com), an award winning Wedding DJ, Entertainment and Videography Company located in metropolitan Detroit, Michigan. Mike is also a well known Detroit radio personality, having spent over 14 years on-the-air at one of Detroit's most popular music stations, 101-FM WRIF.

Wedding Traditions – Why We Do That?

What do you think of when you hear the word "Wedding?" Probably something quite similar to what most other people are thinking – a beautiful bride in white, tossing a lovely bouquet and garter, a scrumptious towering cake . . .

So many things are specifically associated with weddings – most of which are based on centuries-old traditions and symbolism. However, traditions have to start somewhere. There had to be a first time that any of these practices took place, and superstition or practicality was usually the underlying reason.

Some traditions were originated to keep away the evil spirits:
Bridal bouquet - originally made of herbs, such as thyme and garlic, not flowers. The herbs were chosen for their strong smell, with the intent to frighten away evil spirits.

Bridesmaids dressing alike - the bride and her ‘maids used to dress similarly to confuse the evil spirits.

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue - originated in England to ward off the evil spirits.

Honking car horns after a wedding, or tying tin cans to the back of the get-away car were done as the noise scared off the evil spirits.

Other traditions were symbols of fertility:
The wedding cake - during the days of the Roman Empire, wheat or barley cakes (more like loaves) were broken over the head of the new bride by her groom symbolizing her fertility.
Giving a favor of Italian confetti, or candy-covered almonds - these used to be tossed at the couple representing fertility and good luck.

Tossing rice - originated with the ancient Hindus and Chinese to bestow fertility upon the bride and groom, as rice is the symbol of fruitfulness and prosperity in these cultures.

Some traditions remain with a specific culture, rather than having become the norm for American weddings:
Indian - The Redenga is an exchange of flower garlands during the ceremony which symbolizes the couple’s acceptance of each other.

Egyptian - Women pinch the bride for good luck.

Irish - Giving a bell as a gift - the chime of bells is thought to keep evil spirits away, and also remind a couple of their wedding vows.

Swedish - the bride puts a silver coin from her father and a gold coin from her mother in each shoe to ensure that she’ll never do without.

Other traditions stem from practicality to serve a specific purpose rather than being based on superstition. Although the practical purpose no longer holds true for todays society, these traditions hold fast:
Why there are two envelopes with the invitation:
Invitations used to be hand delivered by messenger. In transport, the outer envelope would get dirty. When the messenger arrived at the destination, he would discard the outer, soiled envelope, and present the invitation to the recipient in just the inner, clean envelope.

Why couples kiss at the end of their ceremony:
While many cultures share the more romantic belief that the couple exchanged spirits with their breath and part of their souls were exchanged as they kiss, this tradition actually originated with the Romans who used a kiss to seal a binding contract.

Why there is a garter toss:
Prior to the 14th century, it was believed that possessing part of the brides garments brought good luck, so people actually tried to tear off pieces of her clothing. The tradition of a "garter toss" started in the 14th century after brides were tired of having to fight off people trying to tear at her clothing.

Why brides wear white:
Contrary to popular belief, this has nothing to do with purity or virginity. The white wedding gown started with Queen Victoria in 1840. She wanted a dress that was specially for her wedding day, rather than wear one of her "Sunday Best" as was common practice at the time. Her of a white satin and lace gown remains the preferred choice of modern brides. If a white gown was good enough for a queen . . .

By Jean Neuhart
Weddings From The Heart