|
It's vital to get to know your fiance's parents! Nowadays, it's different than previous generations when most Americans married the girl or boy next door, who had a similar upbringing, religious beliefs, etc. That made it easier for the bride and groom to understand how each others' parents behaved, and how they are expected to behave with them (e.g., calling them Mr. or Mrs. Whatever versus calling them by their first names).
Misunderstandings are bound to occur, as brides and grooms are increasingly coming together from different parts of the country, as well as different countries all together! That's why it's so important for couples to talk about their families' beliefs, traditions, customs, etc. before getting married. Because as the saying goes, you’re not just marrying a person, but their family as well! Plus, since his/her parents are the ones who raised your spouse to be, you can learn a lot about what to expect from your spouse in your marriage, in terms of behavior, personality, etc.
In addition to the traditions of each of your families, brides and grooms shouldn’t forget to establish some unique traditions of their own for the new family that they’re creating together through their marriage!
Think before you say something negative about your fiancé(e)’s relatives! A good rule of thumb? If you wouldn’t want to hear your fiancé(e) say it about your relatives, don’t say it about theirs.
Ask your in-laws about their love story and wedding day, and compliment them on it—they’ll appreciate your interest and consideration!
The bride-to-be should invite the groom’s parents over to her place, at least for coffee and dessert. This is a way of inviting them into her life, and letting them get to know her.
Plan holiday visits ahead of time. For example, if Christmas is approaching, ask your in-laws if they’d prefer to have you and your beloved over on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, showing them that it’s important to you as a couple to spend time with both families during the holidays. You can also alternate on an annual basis whose family you will spend the holidays with (e.g., Thanksgiving at his parents’ house one year, and at your parents’ the next).
The bride can bond with her mother-in-law by talking food and family recipes. The groom’s mom will appreciate you wanting to cook your husband-to-be’s favorite foods! Along the same lines, help out in the kitchen when you visit, and act like you are part of the family in other ways, like helping your groom’s younger sibling or cousin with their homework.
If your father-in-law is a big sports fan, you can score points by getting familiar with what teams he roots for, and will score extra points by treating him to some tickets to the big game!
Pick up the phone, and call just to say hi. Especially during the wedding planning period, the mother of the groom will appreciate the attention from the bride, especially if her son doesn’t call her very often.
Even if your in-laws give you a family heirloom that you find unsightly, or that totally clashes with your décor, the fact that they gave you something that’s special to them speaks volumes, so the least that you can do is display it and show them your appreciation!
Early on in your engagement, stay neutral in family decisions even if they ask for your opinion to avoid getting on anyone’s bad side. You have plenty of time to put in your two cents later on down the road…
Last but definitely not least, let your in-laws know how much you love their son/daughter by allowing them to witness a little affection and hear your sweet nothings.
© 2006 WedAlert Corp
Go
back to Articles
|
