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to over 80 Wedding Ceremony Songs!
If you are like most brides and grooms, the music
that will be played during your wedding ceremony
is very important to you -- but you may not have
a clue how to go about selecting it! Here are some
guidelines for American weddings (customs vary in
other countries).
An important factor in choosing your music is the
setting for your wedding ceremony. If your ceremony
will not be in a religious setting, you can choose
just about any kind of music you like -- although
you will want to stay within the bounds of good taste!
On the other hand, if your ceremony will be in a
church or synagogue, or conducted by a clergy person
at another location, you will probably need to stay
within guidelines set by the clergy person or the
church.
Popular music
Most religious denominations consider a wedding ceremony
to be a form of worship service. For this reason,
churches generally do not allow “secular” music
(non-religious popular music) during a wedding.
Some will allow secular music while the guests
are being seated, but not during the ceremony itself.
Check with the church where your wedding will be
held for its specific guidelines.
How religious do the lyrics of a song have to be
for a church wedding? Songs that make respectful
reference to God (or to Jesus or the Holy Spirit
in Christian churches) are almost certain to be acceptable.
Many churches will also allow a song that does not
make specific reference to a deity, as long as it
focuses on religious ideals and values relating to
love and marriage, such as faithfulness and mutual
support.
How many songs?
Most weddings include a vocal soloist singing anywhere
from one to four selections during the wedding
ceremony, depending on the length of the ceremony.
The accompaniment is usually piano, acoustic guitar
or harp. A duet sung by a male-female vocal duo
is often used instead of a solo, and can be very
effective! You will probably need to hire live
vocalist(s); many churches do not allow recorded
music in wedding ceremonies, except perhaps recorded
accompaniment for a live vocalist.
Appropriate places in the ceremony for vocal selections,
depending on church guidelines, may include: (1)
during the seating of the mothers or lighting of
candles by the mothers; (2) immediately before the
processional; (3) before the vows; (4) during the
lighting of the Unity Candle; and (5) during the
serving of communion to the congregation, if this
is included in the ceremony.
Finding the right songs
Vocal music is probably the aspect of your wedding
music selection where you will want to have the
most personal involvement, since the songs include
lyrics and you will want them to be especially
meaningful for you. Where can you find songs with
just the right lyrics that will be acceptable in
a church setting? And preferably something you
haven’t heard at a hundred other weddings?
First, ask your vocalist or accompanist for suggestions.
Have them show you their sheet music for the songs
they suggest, and when you find one with lyrics you
like, have them play or sing that song for you.
Before deciding whether the songs suggested by your
musicians are really what you want, you should go
to a store that sells sheet music and songbooks and
browse in the wedding section. (Look for printed
music rather than recorded music, as your musicians
will probably need printed music to work from.) Chances
are, you may find something that more closely expresses
what you want to say than the songs suggested by
your musicians. If you don’t live near a store
that sells sheet music and songbooks, or if you just
prefer shopping on the Internet, take a look at the
Truly Yours Music website, www.truly-yours.com.
Custom songwriting
Another option is to hire a composer/songwriter to
write a special song for your wedding ceremony.
There are several websites where these services
are offered. Be sure to give the songwriter plenty
of advance time before your wedding to complete
the song.
What about the instrumental-only music for your
wedding ceremony? Your choices here may include the
church organist or pianist, a string quartet, a harpist,
or other instrumentalists. When you meet with your
instrumental musician(s), they will probably be happy
to play various pieces for you that can be used for
the processionals and the recessional. You may be
allowed to select one piece for the processional
where the bridal party enters, another for the bride’s
processional, and another for the recessional.
By Elaine McDonald
Wedding music composer and publisher
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