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Of all the wedding day rituals, the first dance as
a newly married couple is perhaps, the sweetest.
It reminds us all of the promise that having a
lifetime partner holds and recalls our thoughts
of romance and permanence. Of course, it can also
be a source of stress for the couple involved if
they have not spent any time preparing beforehand.
Partner dancing is a skill like any other and with
a minimum of practice and preparation, any couple
can take the spotlight with confidence and grace
on their big day. So, how should you prepare? What
are your options and where do you start? Here are
some tips and suggestions that will help you make
this moment fun and special.
Have you chosen a song for your first dance?
If you have not yet chosen a song, you may want to
consider what type of dance you would like to do
and work backwards from there. Would you want the
classic romance of a waltz, or would you prefer
a relaxed and jazzy foxtrot? Maybe the exuberant
energy of a swing dance or the intensity of an
Argentine Tango is more your style. If you enjoy
Latin rhythms you may like a slow rumba or a lively
salsa. A simple slow dance is always an option.
Please keep in mind that some dance styles are
easier to learn than others, so time may be a factor
in your decision.
Will the band be playing your song or will you be
dancing to a recording?
This decision will also affect what song you choose.
Standards such as "Our Love is Here to Stay", "It
Had to be You", and "Time after Time" are
songs that every jazz band should be able to play
for you if you let them know in advance. The bandleader
should also be told what tempo to play the song and
for what length of time. If you have been practicing
to a certain recording of your song, be sure to make
a copy for your bandleader so that he/she understands
exactly what type of arrangement and feeling you
are expecting. The same song may be played in many
different ways, so it is important to communicate
to avoid surprises on your wedding day.
Should you take dance lessons to prepare for your
first dance together?
Don't take lessons because you feel that some sort
of performance is expected out of you. Remember that
this is your day and should reflect something about
you. However, if dancing together is something that
you've always wanted to do but never had the time
or the nerve, now is a great opportunity. Remember
that this will be something that the two of you can
share forever. There will always be plenty of opportunities
to enjoy your dancing skills- at a friend's wedding,
a fancy function, or even a nightclub.
Where should you go to take lessons?
You should be able to find teachers who have experience
with wedding couples at your local ballroom dance
studio. When you call, ask if that studio has any
special wedding packages available. Most ballrooms
offer both group classes and private lessons. Group
classes are certainly more affordable, but a private
lesson will focus only on what you want to learn
and go at whatever pace is best for you. You should
expect to pay anywhere from $25-$80 per hour (for
a couple) for a private lesson, and $6-$15 each
for a group class.
There are many types of partner dancing, so it is
important to make sure that your instructor specializes
in the dance style that you have chosen. Depending
on your location, it is often better to go to the
clubs if you are interested in a nightclub dance
such as swing, salsa, or Argentine Tango. Many clubs
offer lessons before the band plays or the dancing
begins. Once you have found a teacher that you feel
comfortable working with, be sure to bring him/her
a recording of your song. If you haven't chosen a
song yet, your instructor may be able to make some
suggestions.
If you have trouble finding a teacher that you like,
or if time and money are considerations, you may
want to try learning to dance from an instructional
videotape. There are several videos that cater specifically
to wedding couples and their special needs. This
will allow you to learn at any time and in the privacy
of your home, which is ideal if either of you are
nervous about learning to dance. Some people find
that they feel under pressure with the constant attention
of an instructor in a private lesson, and they are
too shy or self-conscious to learn in a group. There
are several videos that cater specifically to wedding
couples and their special needs. No matter how you
decide to tackle the learning process, remember to
be supportive and have patience with each other's
difficulties. The reward will be well worth the effort.
How will your first dance begin and end?
Your bandleader or DJ can call you out to the dance
floor and announce your first dance. Traditionally
the father of the bride will eventually cut in
and dance with his daughter (this may be done to
a new song or during the original song), at which
point the groom may ask the bride's mother to dance.
Then the groom's father may dance with the bride,
at which time the bride's father may cut in on
his wife and the groom. The groom may then ask
his mother to dance. Additionally the groom may
dance with the maid of honor and the bride with
the best man, while the in laws dance with each
other. Finally the entire wedding party, and then
the guests may join in the dancing. As the wedding
couple you must decide before the ceremony which
part of this traditional order you would like to
follow, if any. This is only a guide and it is
your choice who to involve in the dancing. It is
important to notify the individuals that you want
to participate, and instruct them as to when they
should join the dance, and with whom they should
dance. Depending on how many people will eventually
be dancing, you may have to select an additional
song or songs for everyone to dance to.
Your First Dance should be one of the many beautiful
memories of your wedding day. By preparing in advance
you will be able to relax and have fun with each
other, enjoying your moment. Don't think of this
as a performance but as a ritual, part of the vows
and promises that you will exchange on this special
day.
Sharon Ashe
Now You're Dancing
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