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Traditional Jewish weddings are replete with a variety
of rituals. The origins of these traditions find
their roots in both Bible-related customs, traditions
carried down through generations, and vestiges of
superstitious beliefs. Jews were traditionally admonished
not to believe in superstition. The attitude of many
Jews, particularly in the Middle Ages, can best be
summed up in a quotation from the Sefer Hassidim,
The Book of the Pious, a scholarly 13th century German-Jewish
publication which dealt with the everyday lives of
traditional Jews: "One should not believe in
superstitions, but it is best to be heedful of them."
A widespread beliefs not only in the Jewish community,
but throughout the word, is that demons or evil spirits
are especially prolific and present during times
of joy and life-cycle events such as wedding. Many
wedding customs, with Jewish customs being no exception,
have at least a part of their origins in an attempt
to ward off the envy and rage of the spirit world
and the belief that the bride needed protection again
the keayn eyein hara (the evil eye). The custom of
veiling the bride (badecken) is traditionally explained
by the reference to Rebecca in Genesis (24:65) "Rebecca
took her veil and covered herself" upon her
first meeting Isaac. Popular legend attributes the
badecken to the Biblical story of Jacob and his wives.
After working seven years for permission to marry
Rachel, Jacob was tricked on his wedding day into
marrying Leah, instead (Genesis 29:25). To avoid
such a mishap, according to legend, the groom "checks" to
be sure than it is, indeed, his bride, before her
veil is lowered over her face.
Students of Jewish folklore believe that the use
of the veil by a Jewish bride may be an adaptation
of a Roman custom. Among Romans the bride wore a
full-length veil, which was used when she died as
her burial shroud. Among Oriental Jews, the veil
is made of opaque material. It is so designed to
serve as an affirmation that the bride is placing
her complete faith and trust in the man whom she
is about to marry. There once was a widespread belief
that demons were frightened of fire and scared away
by light. This belief formed the basis for many couples,
of a variety of religious backgrounds, to walk down
a protective aisle of torches and candles. The custom
continues today in many Jewish weddings were two
candles are carried to escort to bride and groom
to the wedding canopy. The more traditional explanation
explains that the numerical value for the Hebrew
word candle (nair) has the same value as the biblical
phrase in Genesis (1:28) "Be fruitful and multiply."
During Jewish ceremonies, it is traditional that
males wear kippot (Yarmules in Yiddish), skullcaps,
as a head covering. The covering of the head is a
demonstration of the awareness that there is something
which is infinitely above our intellect and symbolizes
our sense respect and humility in the presence of
such a Being. Non-Jewish males may choose to wear
a kippah, as well. The chuppah or bridal canopy is
perhaps the central tradition at most Jewish weddings.
Usually it is made of ornamented satin, or velvet
-- supported by four poles. Marriage ceremonies in
the Middle Ages customarily took place outdoors,
as an omen that the marriage should be blessed with
as many children as stars in the heavens. To make
a space separate from the surrounding marketplace,
the rabbis sanctioned the use of a chuppah.
Time and creativity have "turned it into" a
variety of other similar structures. The original
meaning of the word was "room" or "covering" from
the phrase in the Bible: "Let the bridegroom
go forth from his chamber and the bride out of her
pavilion (chuppah) (Joel 2:16). The chuppah symbolizes
the new Jewish home that the couple creates together.
It may also have origin is in the reference in the
Bible to the bridal bower in which the newlywed couple
were confined at the end of the wedding ceremony.
In the Middle Ages the custom evolved into a cloth,
or outer covering, that was spread over the bridal
couple as a means of protecting them from demonic
harm and the evil eye. Some believe that It is reminiscent
of the tents of the ancient Hebrews.
The tradition of having Honor Attendants also has
some Jewish roots. Legend has it that Michael and
Gabriel, two angels, attended the "wedding" of
Adam and Eve. Honor attendants are thus considered
to be model friends of the bride and groom. Hakafot,
is the custom of the bride circling the groom, in
some traditions seven times, in some three. This
circling is bride's way of demonstrating how central
the groom is to her thoughts and to her very being.
Another interpretation is based on the belief that
evil spirits seek to keep the young couple from the
fulfillment they look for in their marriage. The "walking
around" may serve to protect the husband from
the demons which seek to find him. The seven hakafot
corresponds to the seven marriage blessings and may
well also refer to the seven verses in the Bible
which says: " . . . and when man taketh a wife." The
three hakafot may be based on the verses in Hosea
(2:21-22) in which the word "betroth" is
used three times in an analogy of G-d as the bridegroom
speaks to Israel, the bride.
The Seven Blessings (shevah berachot) mark the completion
of the wedding ceremony. The blessings are recited
over wine or grape juice. It is the seven blessings
that join the new couple to their community. A "new
custom" has been added to add even more symbolism.
The two mothers and then the two fathers (of the
bride and of the groom) pass the wine goblet to the
bride. This symbolizes the joining not only of the
bride and the groom, but also of their two families.
It should be noted that in Hebrew and in Yiddish
there are specific words to "name" the
relationship between the bride's and groom's families
(mechutaneem), as apposed to the somewhat pejorative
and perhaps distancing expression "in laws." Almost
every Jewish wedding ends with the traditional breaking
of a glass.
The traditional explanation is that the smashing
of the glass adds a social component to the ritual
and dates back to Talmudic times when Rabbi Mar de-Rabina
felt that his disciples had become too frivolous
at the marriage of his son. Legend has it that he
grabbed a costly glass and threw it to the floor.
This had a sobering effect on his guests and gave
the clear message that in celebration there should
always be awe and "trembling, " as well.
Some believe that even in the height of their joy,
the couple must pause in remembrance of the destruction
of the Temple in Jerusalem. The shattered glass is
a reminder to all in attendance that the world is
replete with imperfection and it an imperative to
all to partake in Tikkun Olam, the mending of the
world. Smashing of glasses also has origins in superstition.
Throughout the Near East smashing of glasses or
dishes was a common gesture thought to have magical
powers, symbolizing the smashing of the powers of
demons and any ill-wishers. In Germany, during the
Middle Ages, the marriage glass was thrown against
a special stone called a traustein, which was commonly
embedded in the outside wall of the synagogue. The
heaving of the glass, it was believed would fly in
the face of demons that traditionally descended from
the North. This act was thought to be a powerful
antidote to their evil abilities.
There are other rituals and traditions that are
practiced at a Jewish wedding. Many depend on the
level of observance of the couple. The ones discussed
in this article should be considered "the basics." For
more information . . . "The Jewish Book of Why," by
Alfred J. Kolatch, published by Jonathan David Publishers.
By Judy Lewis
HudsonValleyWeddings.com
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