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Contrary to what they say in the magazines and on-line
now, you don't have to spend a fortune to have a
wonderful, memorable wedding. I tell my clients and
my readers that the most important part of making
a wedding memorable is focusing on and prioritizing
what you want to achieve. Fortunately, that same
focus will help you save money as well!
You can look at all the planning guidelines and
timelines in magazines and on websites for ideas
of things you might do, but don't get boxed in by
them-- real weddings come together in a much different
way than magazines and many experts suggest.
You and your fiancé need to sit down and
really talk and think about what you want MOST for
the wedding-- a certain location, a large guest list,
great photography, a really fancy gown and accessories.
Start making notes of what you really want and what
you can live without. Compare your ideas, and compromise
when necessary, to come up with a wedding you'll
both love.
When you have an idea of what's most important to
you, you can start finding out what those things
will cost. Call around, ask around, make notes, add
things up. Then when you have an idea of what you'll
do, start with the most important priorities FIRST,
so you make sure you can afford them. Then you can
compromise on, or even omit, some of the less important
things as your budget gets stretched.
The following is a compilation of ideas I have sent
to various brides who were looking to keep their
expenses and/or weddings small, but memorable.
General Budget/Cash Flow Issues--
~ Careful timing can reduce reception costs. Do
you have a time set for the wedding? If you don't
want to spend a lot on refreshments, plan the wedding
and reception at a time other than mealtime. This
is tricky because the length of time a wedding and
reception takes, but you can work with it a little.
Usually, for instance, it's tough to have a morning
wedding early enough to avoid feeding the guests
lunch. Even a very short ceremony and reception that
starts at 10 am is going to run into "lunchtime" (and
some guests may expect brunch, since many morning
weddings offer that.)
In the afternoon, you could plan the wedding to
start, say, 1:30 or 2 pm, and figure you can have
people on their way before 5 if there are no real
activities except socializing and limited light refreshments.
In the evening, you can work it the same way, if
you wish. Any ceremony after about 6:30 pm (or certainly
7) would be "after dinner" (in most regions),
so you could plan to only serve dessert rather than
a buffet or meal.
~ Make some things for the wedding yourself. Doing-it-yourself
is not always as much cheaper as it used to be, but
it still saves you labor charges, if you have creative
talents and energy. I encourage couples and families
to make garters or bridesmaids dresses, arrange flowers,
cook the reception food-- whatever they are good
at. It's cheaper, and it's often more meaningful
to have had a hand in the preparations personally.
Also, many family and friends really ENJOY helping
out with wedding prep. Don't be afraid to ask! :
)
~ Consider marrying on Friday evening. This is NOT
the most convenient arrangement, because people have
to get out of work early, etc. It can also be difficult
for any out-of-town guests you might have, because
it may force them to take an additional day off work
to arrive in time for all the festivities. But you
can sometimes get discounts on sites and services.
If you are *really* tight in the budget, this could
be an option worth researching.
~~One other **very important** thing to remember
when money is tight--- most of your bills will come
due right before the wedding. Usually you pay 1/2
up-front for services, and then the last couple weeks
before the wedding, everyone wants their other half
paid. BE PREPARED FOR THIS! Try to look ahead so
you will have the cash flow you need when all those
payments go out at once. If you can, save extra *right
away* while you are in the early planning stages,
because you will need it later.
Also, plan your budget *smaller* than you think
you could really afford. If your wedding expenses
come within that figure, that will be great. But
if one or two things turn out to be more expensive
than you expected, you won't be right at the absolute
limit of your funds. It will give you peace of mind.
Location/Guest List--
~ Keep your guest list small. The more people, the
bigger the location, the more food, the more invitations,
etc.
~ Have the wedding and reception in the same place.
It's trendy to have them separate locations, but
frankly, as a guest, I really dislike the practice
(all that extra driving and parking). And from the
couple's standpoint, it's much cheaper to do it all
in one place. It's also more convenient and relaxing
for everyone involved.
~ Consider an less-traditional location. In most
areas, many attractive locations are willing to have
weddings-- not just the churches, hotels and country
clubs where most weddings take place. Some non-traditional
locations will cost you more, but others may cost
*considerably* less. So do some research, and make
some calls. Likely locations include, parks (local,
state and national), bed-and-breakfasts, country
inns, restaurants, public gardens, historic homes
or monuments, museums, galleries, and private homes
of friends or family.
When considering the suitability of *any* location,
be sure to find out not just about the price to rent
the location, but also about parking, seating, restrooms,
food preparation and/or storage, dressing areas,
security, electrical hook-ups, restrictions or regulations
(on alcohol, attire, photography or videography,
decorations, etc.) Anything not provided or conveniently
available may cost you more to rent or provide on
your own.
Attire--
~ The two best ways to save money on attire are
to dress very casually, or to sew your own (or have
a friend or relative sew your) gown and/or bridesmaids'
gowns. But even casual gowns can be quite costly
in the current market, unless you are able to take
advantage of sales or other discounts.
Home-sewn gowns are less popular now than they were
in the 70's and 80's. However, since the current
styles and fabrics are actually fairly easy to sew,
it seems a shame that more brides and their families
do not make use of this option--especially for bridesmaids
and flowergirls.
Obviously, good general sewing skills and a dependable
sewing machine are necessary, as well as a reasonable "eye" for
fitting. But if you consider that a bride recently
commented to me that she was *happy* to find a flowergirl
dress for "only" $99 (other similar gowns
were as much as $150), it seems clear that sewing
should be an option budget-conscious brides at least
*consider*.
~ Headpieces and some accessories are very inexpensive
to make, as well. Good instructions are available
in books and with patterns. If you are creative at
all, you might look into this option. Mark-ups on
headpieces, especially, are VERY high in most bridal
boutiques, so this can net you a big savings from
retail.
~ If you will buy your gown "off-the-rack",
big discount bridal stores and on-line resources
can offer lower prices-- but consider what you may,
or may not, get from these sources in the way of
quality, personal service, dependability, selection,
alterations, etc. Some are excellent; others are
not. Working with a company or resource you have
personal references for is the best, whenever possible.
~ If you will hire a dressmaker to save money, remember
that the talents and prices and quality provided
will vary considerably. You might be fortunate to
have a very inexpensive, but fabulously talented
dressmaker available to you. On the other hand, to
get the best deal from a more expensive dressmaker
or designer, you might decide to simplify your fabric
and detailing choices to include only what's MOST
important to you. The other advantage of having a
gown made is that, at least you will not have to
worry about alterations costs on top of the purchase
price.
~ Menswear costs can be reduced by having the men
wear suits they own, for example, rather than renting
matching formalwear.
Decorations/Flowers--
~ If you will use fresh flowers, try to choose varieties
which will be in-season at the time of your wedding
date. Skip extra arrangements on the altars, reception
tables, etc. If you must decorate these areas, consider
using inexpensive live plants (home centers, discount
stores, large nurseries, and even grocery stores
sometimes have great prices on potted plants.) Be
sure, however, that any plants or flowers used near
food are not toxic.
~ Keep the bouquets small. Let the bouquets do double-duty
for decoration, by laying them out on your tables
at the reception. Consider eliminating corsages and
boutonnieres for anyone besides your own and your
fiancé's parents.
~ Consider arranging silk or dried flowers yourself.
The price of professionally-arranged silk or dried
bouquets is often about the same as fresh flower
prices. However, if you use careful shopping, creative
filler options, a bit of patience, and some ingenuity,
you can often save money by arranging silk or dried
flowers yourself. If you haven't worked with floral
arranging before, start with the boutonnieres. They
are easy to handle and help you get familiar with
the general techniques and products you will use
on the larger arrangements.
~ Not all locations need extra decorations. It is
not necessary to totally *transform* your ceremony
or reception location in order to have a beautiful
and memorable wedding. If your budget is tight, do
the minimum you are comfortable with.
~ If you really need some color and interest in
a really boring reception location (a common problem),
I have seen really pretty, classy effects achieved
with really simple, inexpensive party materials,
like balloons, streamers (especially metallic or
pearlized), honeycomb wedding bells, inexpensive
fabrics, candles, confetti and glitter.
If you choose to use materials like these, choose
your colors carefully so they are not too harsh,
and look for ways to combine materials and add small
decorative details (silk flowers, ribbons, floating
beads, etc.) to create a more complex, customized
look.
Refreshments--
~ Your choice of refreshments is very important
to how much the reception will cost.
Generally, the least expensive reception is a cake
and punch reception. Cake is really the minimum food
you should serve. You can cut cake costs, if necessary,
by having a very small decorative and/or stacked
cake, and supplementing the servings with additional
sheet cake in the same flavor. Punch is an easy and
inexpensive beverage, and it can be very fun to make
(ideas for a custom punch recipe can be found in
A Bride's Touch on page 249).
A cake and punch reception usually also includes
coffee and perhaps tea, individual sodas instead
of punch if you prefer (but that costs more), and
sometimes champagne or other alcohol (but that's
a pricey item, too.) There has also recently been
a trend toward offering other desserts besides cake,
so you could have a "dessert and punch" reception
for a little more than a standard cake and punch
affair.
A pot-luck is next most expensive, because it should
be assumed that you and your family will contribute
several dishes. In some social circles, this works
out very well, and makes for a very fun and tasty
reception. There is a lot of variety in the food
(something for everyone, usually) and even if some
guests are not able/willing to bring something, there's
usually plenty. This sort of arrangement works well
for family- or church-oriented weddings, where guests
feel that bringing a dish is a way to help the couple
celebrate. In other circles, guests may consider
this in poor taste, feeling that the bride's (and
perhaps groom's family) should be treating the guests
to a meal. You would have to check around with family
and friends to see how they would feel about this
idea.
Some hosting families opt to prepare the food themselves.
It gives them control over the cost and menu, but
eliminates the potluck concept of asking others to
bring something. If you have a lot of guests, you
could also ask for help from the bridal party members
and your closest family and friends.
Cold food works the best for this because you can
buy and prepare it ahead. If you have family or friends
willing to help, it's not too taxing to have them
each make a double or triple recipe of one dish like
potato or crab salad, or a platter of cold cuts,
or a tray of rolls. Warehouse and food service stores
like Price Club and Smart and Final have made this
even easier, providing good prices for large quantities,
and (at Smart and Final and other restaurant suppliers),
low cost serving dishes and utensils as well. I have
found that big plastic punch bowls are excellent
for serving salads and other large dishes attractively
and economically.
Of "catered" options, prices would range
from purchasing trays at a supermarket or other deli,
to having a restaurant or caterer provide trays or
a simple buffet, to having a formal sit-down dinner
cooked by the kitchen at the reception site or a
private caterer, to really elaborate, multi-course
banquets.
Entertainment-- ~ Providing entertainment or activities costs extra,
generally. If you want to keep the reception low-key,
skip or at least limit music and dancing (this will
also save you from having to rent a dance floor).
If you have access to a small sound system, at the
location or through a friend, you can supply your
own background music through CDs or cassettes.
You may or may not need a microphone at all, depending
on what you choose to include in the way of toasts
and announcements. If you keep it really informal,
just a chance to chat with guests, you can get away
with almost no extra equipment or related preparation.
This will also tend to keep the reception short,
since guests won't be staying late to dance and party.
Professionals--
~ Hiring professionals, of course, accounts for
a great chunk of many wedding budgets. As a professional
myself, and speaking for the many fine wedding professionals
I know, this is often money very well spent. However,
people have married *without* the help of professional
dressmakers, florists, caterers, photographers, videographers,
musicians, and event planners for hundreds of years.
And some couples still do.
If your budget is really tight, pick your professionals
with care. Personally, for my own wedding, photography
was the most important professional priority (see
article); and many couples I have interviewed have
felt the same. For you, it might be a particular
florist or caterer. But remember you *do not* have
to hire every professional suggested in the bridal
magazines, or by people you know. You can choose
to spend the money you have on what matters most
to you.
~ Consultants, coordinators and event planners are
currently touted by most magazines, and many bridal
advisors, as an *essential* element of modern wedding
planning. They site money savings, higher quality
wedding "results", planning-stress reduction,
and more. I think it is important to point out, however,
that many, if not most, weddings are planned *without*
the help of this type of professional. And most of
them are beautiful, happy, fun and memorable.
There *are* situations where a bridal consultant,
coordinator or event planner is very helpful-- and
still another few situations where one *might* be
essential. But if you are planning a relatively average
wedding, and you are concerned with keeping costs
down, this is a professional I believe you can safely
skip-- no matter what the magazines say.
Good advice and information about wedding planning
is available from many free or inexpensive sources--
friends and family, your local library, the internet,
and many of the wedding professionals with whom you
will be working. Don't sell any of these resources
short!
* * * *
And don't let anyone intimidate you by making wedding
planning seem more complicated than it is. A lot
of the people who emphasize the stresses, costs,
and frustrations of planning are either selling something,
or they have been heavily influenced by those who
are.
LOTS of couples plan wonderful weddings without
suffering tremendous stress, without going into years
of debt, without having horrible fights with their
future spouses-- and without losing sight of the
reason they are doing all of this in the first place.
You can, too! Best wishes to you!!
By Sara L. Ambarian - author/creative consultant/custom
bridal designer
Visit her website:
www.frazmtn.com/~ambarian/
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