The tradition of a bridal shower originated in
Holland. How this legend came about? A young Dutch
girl fell in love with a poor miller, who had
spent his life helping those needier than himself.
This resulted in little offerings to his awaited
bride when they were ready to be married. When
the young lady told her father she planned on
marrying the miller, he was totally outraged and
forbade the marriage. The father being totally
against his daughter’s marriage, refused
to give her the customary bridal dowry….hoping
she would change her mind and wait for a better
suited man with higher statures.
Despite her father's disapproval, the young lady
decided to risk the hardship of poverty and marry
her true love. Without a dowry, the couple had
very little to their names and was nearly penniless.
Upon hearing the couple’s dilemma, the community
came to their aid to show appreciation for the
miller’s kindness to others over the years.
With the help of many kind townspeople, the groom's
friends joined together and "showered"
the new bride with necessities for the couple's
home. Thanks to their kindness, the bride acquired
what her father had denied her - everything she
needed to set up a new home.
A beautiful tradition grew from the townspeople's
generosity and continued for decades. Over time
the old-fashioned dowry, a young woman customarily
received from her family to set up her home, grew
into a bridal shower given by her "family
of friends." Gift giving was not common until
the late 19th century. Back then early bridal
showers were focused on strengthening the bride's
friendship with her peers, offering moral support,
and helping her plan for her marriage.
Early bridal showers tended to be much more intimate
than modern showers. Unlike today's showers, the
first bridal showers only included guests who
were very close friends or relatives. It was only
women who were invited.
Twentieth-Century Bridal Showers
Today there are many variations of bridal showers.
Hosting Couple Showers - Men have become much
more involved in the wedding process. With more
couples paying for their own weddings, the groom
doesn't want to feel left out of the pre-wedding
festivities. Having men present makes the whole
thing much more relaxed. You see less of the traditions
such as bouquets and hats made from the bows and
ribbons. And the showers are more often held at
the couple's favorite hangouts such as a restaurant
or a bar, or even at a friend's house for brunch.
The friends or family planning the showers have
become tuned in to this. As the guest arrives
at the bridal shower, have him or her fill an
entry in an address book, which will act as the
"sign-in" book. At the end of the shower,
the bride has all the addresses and phone numbers
she needs!
- Activity Centered Shower For Women Only -
Women are now experiencing other bridal shower
methods. A popular activity has become spending
a day at the spa. Often the bridal party does
this. Everyone attending the shower is signed
up for two or three spa services. The organizer
reserves a space at the spa so that everyone
can eat lunch together and exchange gifts. Sometimes
the guests pitch in together to pay for the
bride's services, as their shower gift for her.
- Shower at the Office - Offices have become
friendlier places over the years and with the
growing brotherliness, it's become more common
to host bridal showers for co-workers. We are
seeing more nowadays showers being extended
to the groom, not just to the women in the office.
Of course, given the more professional nature
of the environment, the do's and the don'ts
for office showers are a bit different from
family and home showers.
Organizing Tips:
- Get management approval if you plan to host
the shower in the office, instead of in a restaurant.
- Check with honoree's supervisor to make sure
employee will be available at the planned time.
- Try to schedule the shower during lunchtime
when it is easiest for employees to take a break.
- Keep the event to under an hour.
- If it will be held in the office, you can
have everyone contribute an appetizer or salad
to the refreshments, or you can collect money
for purchased refreshments such as a deli tray.
- Attendees can purchase their own gifts, or
contribute to a combined gift.
- If you work in a large corporation, your guest
list should be limited to honoree's department
and close friends in other areas of the company.
- If financial contributions are on the low
side, then limit the food to a cake served and
festive party goods.
- It may be difficult to choose an appropriate
gift. It's often hard to know what a co-worker
needs or has already purchased for the expected
new home. In that case a gift certificate to
a favorite department store or catalog is a
good choice.
- Keep decorations simple, you may not have
much time for setup. A cluster of festive, helium
balloons and a banner honoring the guest of
honor will help to set the party mood. Add the
appropriate party goods, and you've probably
done as much as you can in an office setting.
- Alcohol is inappropriate in an office setting.
Serve a non-alcoholic punch instead.
The event is usually held within two months of
the wedding, up to two weeks before the big day.
(It is considered poor etiquette to invite guests
to the shower who have not been invited to the
wedding.)
The principal reason for a bridal shower is that
it's a nice occasion for close family and friends
of the bride to spend relaxed time with her before
the big wedding day. It's a time for sharing funny
stories, for relatives to give advice to the bride,
and for friends to show their support.
By Karen Caruso
http://www.bridalangel.com
Go
back to Articles
|
